Yesterday afternoon we had a power outage for an hour or so, then started the snow. A few inches of snow later we had another power outage, which made me miss the end of the lifetime movie I was watching and Dean missed the end of W/out a Trace. Woke up to power and about 6 inches of snow. Apparently we got more snow than some places, cause my mom is 15 minutes away and only got about 3 inches.
Spent the morning relaxing, Dean worked from home a bit and then he made us tuna melts for lunch and let me shower in peace before heading off to the office. It was SO nice. I hated to see him go. Monday's his birthday, he's going to be 25! Last night he bought himself some computer gadget that allows him to watch tv on his puter so now not only can he avoid me to be online he can watch tv here too. It's pretty neat though. We need another tv and joked that it would be cheaper to just buy another one of those things(yeah he's the techie not me) and put a puter in our room so we can watch tv on it instead of the tiny tv we have in there now, since unlike most people, we have way too many computers that sit around and get unused.
We have a social weekend planned, looking forward to it a WHOLE lot. Tonight we are having friends over for dinner and to play cards. Tomorrow nigh my wonderful mommy is babysitting so Dean and I can go out, not sure what our plans our yet, something inexpensive because on Sunday we are going out to eat w/ our small group from church to celebrate March birthdays. A friend,whose birthday is Sunday, is pregnant and her baby is due on the 10th of March. We are all hoping she goes early, and she's already dilated a bit but we all know it could still be a while. Another friend from church's baby is due this weekend and her husbands birthday is Monday too. Lots of March birthdays to celebrate!!
Say a prayer for Dana today and in the coming weeks as she recovers from her surgery.
Also keep in mind, those whose lives have been touched by Mr. Rogers. I was telling Dean this morning that off all on air personalities the only person I could say I never heard negative press on was Mr. Rogers. What a role model for both celebrities and ministers as well as he was one himself.
Awoke this morning feeling yucky and in no mood to ready Caleb and drive Dean to work, so I made him fend for himself. I know it must be hard to get motivated when Caleb and I are cozy in bed, but it has been so hard for me to get up this week. It probably has to do with being so lazy last week from being stuck with no place to go. Before Dean left he came and told me it was probably a good thing I stayed in bed because there was a nice blanket of snow outside and more snow coming down. I knew they were calling for snow but it wasnt supposed to show up until this afternoon. I do not drive in snow sleet or rain if I can avoid it. I am not a confident driver and if it means risking Calebs safety I often choose not to drive. So it would have made me very mad to have gotten showered and ready for the day to have to battle this mess. Its supposed to snow all day today and tomorrow. The snow from the blizzard is still around so this means it will just take longer for all of it to go away. Yippee! I cant wait for spring!
Forgiveness
Bobby Tomberlin/Jim Witter
Little Mickey Johnson was my very best friend
In first grade we swore we'd stay that way to the end
But in seventh grade somebody stole my bike
I asked Mickey if he knew who did it, and he lied
Cause it was him...
And when I found out it hit me like a ton of bricks
And I can still see that look on his face when I said
"I never want to talk to you again"
Sometimes we lose our way
We don't say things we should say
We hold on to stubborn pride
When we should put it all aside
To waste the time we're given seems so senseless
And one little word shouldn't be so hard...
Forgiveness...
A little card arrived on my wedding day
"Best wishes from an old friend" was all it had to say
No return address, no, not even a name
But the messy way that it was written gave it away
It was him...
And I just had to laugh as the past came flooding through my mind
I should have picked up that phone right then and there
But I just didn't make the time...
Sometimes we lose our way
We don't say things we should say
We hold on to stubborn pride
When we should put it all aside
To waste the time we're given seems so senseless
And one little word shouldn't be so hard...
Forgiveness...
Sunday morning paper arrived on my step
The first thing I read filled my heart with regret
I saw a name I hadn't seen in a while
It said he was survived by a wife and a child
And it was him...
When I found out, the tears just fell like rain
Cause I realized that I'd missed my chance
To ever talk to him again...
Sometimes we lose our way
We don't say things we should say
We hold on to stubborn pride
When we should put it all aside
To waste the time we're given seems so senseless
And one little word shouldn't be so hard...
Forgiveness...
One little word shouldn't be so hard...
Little Mickey Johnson was my very best friend...
Sometimes you just know when your heart is being pulled in too many directions. While standing in line to get my new cd autographed today I was trying to keep Caleb quiet and carry on a conversation with a lady in front of me. She started talking to me at first about Caleb and I slowly learned that she would have talked to anyone who looked willing to listen. We talked a little, in between trying to get Caleb to get still long enough to be in line. Ends up she has had 9 pregnancies, 6 of her babies are "in glory" as she stated. I believe most were miscarraiges and the one she talked about most was her son who was still born. She said she has 3 wonderful daughters that are all in school now. I felt such a pain and guilt that I didnt know what to say to her. She told me lots more about herself, and this was a complete stranger. I knew there was a reason I was there and was talking to her but now I feel like I let her and God down. I was my usual introverted self and did my best to talk to her but I just couldnt handle all the stuff she dropped on me and wrestle w/ Caleb. I wish I could go back and ask for her forgiveness and take her out to lunch and talk more. Funny how my day keeps being about forgiveness. I've been struggling a lot lately emotionally for several reasons and often when I get in these moods it takes me back to my past and brings up lots of feelings I hate to have. Feelings that I wasnt a good enough friend to people and that I let a lot of people down. Not sure why I'm struggling with this, but seems to always happen as I start new relationships and try to build lasting friendships. It sucks. Why cant my baggage get lost , maybe if I check it at the baggage claim area it will conveniently get misplaced.....if it was only that easy.......
I am so excited to have something fun to do today. Caleb and I are going to a free concert of Jim Witter being held by a local Christian radio station at lunch time. I love this guys music and the first time I heard his song Forgiveness I sarcastically asked Dean if he made them play that song for me. It's about a guy who loses a best friend over a lie and how he never talks to him again. Throughout the song the friend sends him annonymous wedding wishes and later the man reads his old friends obituary and never gets the chance to make peace with him. I have a friend who I lost as a teenager over silly girl battles and in the end for not standing up for her or so she thought, I really was just not giving in to choosing sides and was keeping to myself, but I dont think anyone realized that and thought I was purposefully hurting my friend, but in an attempt to keep peace I kept quiet and w/drew, as is usually my way. Over the years I have sent her several letters, left her voicemail messages and more recently a baby gift for her second child(thanks to babiesrus you dont have to know the persons address it does it for you!) I dont expect her to be my friend but I want to do my best to show my apologies and to let her know that she is always in my thoughts and prayers, and there arent many days that go by that I dont think about her and wonder how she is and what her babies look like. Ironically I just emailed what I think is her email address to say hi, and I had no intentions of writing this but the song always reminds me of her. Needless to say, today Caleb and I will be going there to meet the singer and have lunch.
How is is that Caleb knows just when to come mess w/ the puter while I am in the middle of a entry? I was almost done a lengthy entry and then over comes Caleb and does something, he's so quick I dont even know what he did, but gone was my entry. It went something like this: flooded basement, dry basement, flooded basement, sick baby, great friends, great hubby, and blah blah blah. And of course right when my wonderful toddler comes over to chat w/ me is when I writing all about him and how big he is getting and to prove it, he is becoming quite a computer guru. So sorry folks, this is the abbreviated version. Todays been bad, yesterday was OK but not great, Saturday was hell, and yes I mean it. But there's always tomorrow.....
I cant believe its been almost a month since our accident. We like our new car, but due to the snow or something our window shield wipers dont work. Dean thinks its the fuse for the motor or something. The brakes have been squeling since week 2 that we've had it. It's raining and since the wipers dont work its extra hard to drive in the snow that is still left covering the roads. We're going to have to take it to the shop tomorrow(yeah real fun driving across town in the rain w/out wipers....wohoo!) Biggest headache of the new car is car insurance. Found out today the premium for 6 months of coverage is $2000! They wont take the old car, you know, the one thats in a junk yard somewhere and has been for a month now, off the coverage yet until the claims are done so we are still paying insurance for it. And the coverage we have works so you make 4 payments and then have 2 months w/out payments, so next month we owe$ 5--.oo We can barely afford life now and our car insurance was only $200 a month. Plus the increased car payment and paying $680 for health insurance coverage a month....geez, thats an add'l $900 a month and all of these changes of course come after I lose my job. So add'l bills and no extra income. I dont see how this is going to work. Not only will it be hard to get a job after getting fired(for health reasons at that) but I am still feeling bad, if not worse now that we cant afford my medicine. Guess we better start praying for a huge miracle. We'll be getting money back from taxes but we already are behind paying for our Cobra health insurance so that is where that money will go. Someones going to have to get a job, either me or Dean get a second job. He's said he would but that seems so unfair. I mean he makes good money, just doesnt include health insurance and the new car expenses, but we cant do w/out a car either. Already gave up cable and going to be getting rid of cell phones but after that theres not any bills we can just get rid of. At least we dont have to pay for daycare, but if I had a job at least we'd have some money. I know you dont want to hear about our money woes but I had to vent, I was almost yelling at the car insurance agent but I knew it wasnt his fault that life is so hard. I really REALLY hate being an adult sometimes. Meanwhile my little angel is cuddled up in our warm comforter sleeping. He didnt nap much at all today and here it is 5 and he's just taking a nap. Oh well its Friday so he can stay up late.
We've had a busy day, cleaning and cooking. For dinner I am making, or rather right now the slow cooker is, one of Dean's favorites, peppered steak. And I made him his red velvet cake too. Added some heart sprinkles since we didnt really celebrate that much for Valentines day, so tonight he'll have a nice dinner and his favorite cake. I am working on cleaning house still, which is so hard w/ a toddler.
Heres how the cake turned out, not bad if I say so myself!
He did decide to take a break today though. As you can see, the snow is slowly melting, but what is left here on the deck is after we shoveled a lot of it away. We've still got moutains of snow surrounding us every which way.
Caleb was acting very lethargic today and was feeling fevered to the touch. We assumed it was due to having so many teeth coming through at once. I gave him some tylenol before lunch time. He ate a little breakfast and ate lunch. Shortly after he threw up two times. So I bathed him and put a diaper and onesie on him, he did not want to get dressed at all. I guess by that point the tylenol kicked in and he was feeling much better. He ran around the house like a crazy baby. I was watching tv and chilling, I have none of that hyper energy if any today. Next thing I know he crawls up next to me says night night and cuddles up in a blanket and is fast asleep. With any luck he'll stay there long enough for me to shower and rest some myself, and here's hoping he wakes up w/out a fever and about a normal energy level!
I dont find it too suspicious that I crave chocolate every once in a while but lately I dont know what is going on with me. This past weekend it was strawberry and maraschino cherry cravings, and again yesterday I thought I was going to eat the whole jar of cherries in one sitting. This morning for breakfast I gave in to my craving for pasta seafood, thats right, for breakfast! It wouldnt be so silly if it was an easy craving to fill, but it wasnt like heating up leftovers, I conciously gave in and waited for the pasta to cook and the seafood to saute in butter....mmmm....and now the craving is gone. As if the whole idea was purely ridiculous, and so it sounds. Maybe it's just cabin fever taking over my body. Dont know and dont care, as long I dont start craving snow! At least if I did we have plenty to fill my need.
We ventured to the grocery store last night needing milk mostly, but ended up w/ tons of other things, guess Dean has cravings for a red velvet cake, so he got the stuff for me to make him one. But the egg and milk were out of stock! Either out of stock or the skeleton staff that actually showed up for work didnt have time to fill the aisles again. It was funny the things they were out of and the things they had. Had fresh Krispy Kreme donuts, but no pancake syrup? I forget the other crazy thing they were out of but it was unbelievable. Naive me thought we'd be ok as long as we could GET to the store, but guess if we cant get there than neither can the trucks or employees. DOH! Blizzards are much more fun when you are a teenager, thats when the last one was, when I was in high school. Funny how you never think how it affects you when you are adult until you are one!
Well hoping to get out for a walk in this 50 degree weather. With the way things are going we'll either be walking around in shorts soon, or shoveling out more snow, or both!!
Take a look at the extended entry to view pics of us enjoying the Blizzard, it may take a few minutes to load for those of you with dial up. Dean has more pics here!
Caleb looking out at the biggest snow in Baltimore and of his life!
Dean and Caleb looking cute! Our closest neighbors got together and shoveled up the road in front of our houses and this is the pile of snow in front of our house that remained after all the shoveling out!
This is when we had 17 inches of snow....and this is when we had two feet +++ of snow!
After the snow stopped, but before we started digging cars out.
Inside on Thursday:
Making Valentines cookies! For some reason Caleb thought he could bake them on top of the stove not in the oven!
Outside On Monday:
Snow, snow and a heck of a lot more snow!
I am sitting here in the quiet and still of an empty house, finally! Not that I mind having a few extra hands around to help with the house and Caleb, but originally tonight was to be my night out w/ the girls from church and well the blizzard kind of ruined those plans. So after trying several times, Dean, the baby, and my mother in law headed out to find some food and anything other than the walls and rooms of this house! I was going to go despite how sick I feel but as they readied the van a news report showed a nine car accident on the highway right by our house, and the highway is the road that is cleared of the snow! So against my better judgement, they all trekked out, and I wasnt thrilled that my firstborn was going with them but I've talked to them several times via cell phone and they seem to be making it okay out there. The main roads are supposed to be ok, its the side streets that will be snow covered for days, until this big rain storm comes later this week that w/ it and the melting snow will cause major flooding. Wohoo! We prepped the basement for that possibility by taking up everything that could get flood damaged except the play room as I am still debating whether that room will get risked or not. So as of today, this record snow of 28.8 inches is now being named the Blizzard of 2003 and the worst snow storm of recorded history in Baltimore going back to 1891!
I commented that we could have lived a few more years as homeowners without needing to learn about how to deal with a blizzard and the melting aftermath but as with us nothing comes easy. Our first year in the house and already this. Lovely. In other news, we are currently without health insurance for God knows how long, and this means next week I will be completely out of meds for my condition. I've slowly been weaning myself and lowering the dose so the pills last longer as we cant afford to pay for a refill and I am already feeling the affects. Back is the dizziness, naseaus, spots, not yet any killer headaches but with luck my surgery in December will keep that from happening. I am scared of what will happen without medicine and without being able to go to the dr. I was planning on calling my neurologist this week but no ones been available with the blizzard, I am hoping to give them a call tomorrow to see if I can talk to the dr about what to do. He doesnt yet know that I havent had my follow up or my complete dose of meds, I hate to tell him but when you cant afford it what do you do? Today has been bad. Yesterday was bad. Trying to keep it from Dean which is never a good thing. I never told him til earlier this week that I was dropping my dosage to make the pills last longer becuase I knew he would worry. Now that I will be almost out soon I thought I better prepare him that things might get rough soon. Worst part is I just talked to a lady about a nanny position today. She has an 18 month old little girl and needs a sitter for her all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays. For me I think of it as a paid playdate! We are to meet with her and her daughter this upcoming Friday(they are stranded somewhere in W.Va and got their messages today from their answering machine and are hoping to be back by then) I hope to talk to my dr before then to discuss options so that that is something I can do. It will mean a friend for Caleb and a little extra cash for us. Both are big pluses.
Will have pics up soon of our wonderland of snow!
On Thursday night my mother in law arrived w/ our nephews and a friend of the family. On Friday Dean took 1/2 a day off of work to spend w/ all of us. We went to lunch as a family then came home and crashed for a long nap. News of a threatening winter storm came our way and we all joked about it thinking people were exaggerating. Dean and I were going to go out Friday night but instead went to the grocery store alone, sad how a trip to the store w/out your kid can be a treat. We got milk and food just in case the weatehr got bad, and apparenlty everyone had the same idea, the milk case at the store was almost empty! When we got back we made chocolate covered strawberries, mmmm! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention for our Valentines dinner we had salmon!! My favorite!
On Saturday we went to the mall for a bit after shoveling some snow, just a little, well a couple of inches. Then we went to lunch w/ the whole family again. Then napped again. Last night Dean and I went to TGIFridays for an appetizer, drinks, and vanilla bean cheesecake. Another favorite! then we came home and crashed. More rumors this time of huge proportions of snow coming our way. We awoke to 7 inches of snow a little before 9 am there is now at least a foot and a half and the snow is not expected to stop falling until sometime tomorrow. It's been snowing non stop!
We took Caleb out to play a bit but it was way too cold and the snow was still really coming down. Now caleb is napping, grandmom is playing on the puter as am I and Dean is playing GameCube. I already cleaned house and did laundry so we really have nothing aroudn here to do. Hopefully we'll get some games out and play while caleb naps. Our guests were scheduled to leave tomorrow but as the whole coast and even in Ohio where they would be going back to is covered in snow and/or ice. Its been nice spending time w/ family and getting to know a new friend to the family that came with them. Been very nice having extra hands around w/ Caleb esp as we are getting to be housebound its nice to get a break! well hopefully we wont be stuck here too long but I dont mind! We've plenty of treats and love to keep us all happy. Or so we hope!!
Around 8 pm last night it started snowing heavily and continued to until early this morning. I was looking forward to a hot chocolate snow suit filled day with my son and my hubby, but Dean was determined to get to work. I thought for sure 8 inches of snow was enough to convince anyone to stay at home in bed for as long as possible, but guess not. So needless to say, its just Caleb and I and I doubt I've enough energy to try to attempt a trek outside with Caleb to play in the snow. I am going to try to get a good nap in this morning so later on he and I can get out.
It was so nice to lay in bed last night and cuddle w/ my honey as we looked out at the snow covered trees and yard. Caleb looks out the window and declares snoweee now. It's so cute. I've got some more pics to put up but I think I'll work on that later. For now I am going to try to get some rest if Caleb will let me. It's not been a stressful week but a long and tiring one. I havent had many psuedo tumor symptoms but I am also not feeling 100% either, doesnt help that my sprained ankle got twisted again earlier this week and so it's been really bothering me this week as well. Off to enjoy a warm bed w/ a cute and cuddly toddler who just wants to watch tv all day! I think I've let him do so much too often and now he will stay glued to it way too much but when I am not feeling good its about all I have the energy to let him do. Poor kid. With any luck and much determination on my part we'll be outside playing later on today.
This last week has been super stressful for us. Due to the car accident we had a week ago, our car was totaled and we had to get a new one. We finally did so on Friday. Dean took off work, again, to do so. We finally drove our used, new to us, car home around 8:30 Friday night, a week exactly after our accident. It's really nice, a 99 Hyundai Sonata w/ 35,000 miles. It still has 2 years of the manufacturers warrantly left and we purchased an extended warranty so the car is warrantied for 6 years! We really like it, but then again anything is better than our old car.
Other changes lately included Stacey moving out, so I've been working on setting her room up as what is now Caleb's playroom but hopefully in a month or so it will be used as a home daycare room. Today was Caleb's first time playing in his playroom and he loves it! I still need to put more of his toys down there and organize it some but for now its fine. Heres some pics of his playroom. Yeah, I know it's purple and he's a boy, but I didnt want to have to repaint the room and I had already found the cute decals that match and eventually will be putting up a wall border that matches that as well.
In other news, we have all had horrible colds, Caleb finally over his sinus infection and getting over his bronchitis slowly but he gave Dean and I the sinus infection part and we both now are very miserable. Despite that things are improving this week compared to last and with any luck things will continue to be looking up for us.