Had a 10:30 doctors appointment, didnt get seen til well after 12 just now got home and feel so bad. My sore throat is not caused by strep throat some other bacteria was my doctors guess. No congestion or cough. just a high fever, swollen thingy in back of my throat(i dont have tonsils and dont know the name of that thing back there) and severe neck pain and swollen and painful lymph nodes. What did the dr do? Give me an antibiotic. I had been on an antibiotic for all of november for a sore throat and ear infections. I go off it and feel okay, but my pseudo tumor acts up, go on new meds for that and am now back to the ear and throat thing. ARGH! I asked the dr why i keep getting so sick her only assumption as she put it, said she couldnt say for sure, but that the pseudotumor is causing my body to act differently and that once it adjusts to the new meds I should be ok. but I'll make sure to ask the specialist on Thursday. I cant believe I am going to lose my job because I am so sick all of the time. I am good worker. We get scored on our job every month. My current score was a 100 on quality! I do a damn good job at work, when I am there. And if I wasnt feeling so bad i would be there. I almost left the drs office because I couldnt hold my head up since my neck is so sore. But I waited and waited. She gave me a drs note for friday today and tomorrow. I am scheduled off on Thursday to go to my other appts. What a week. I cant wait to feel better......off to bed with me before my family beats me into to bed. Gotta love a hubby or tells you the house better be dirty when he gets home! He's been so great with taking care of Caleb I hope I dont thank him by getting him and the baby sick too..
I am not pregnant.
But I have been quite ill again. This time its most likely strep throat. I havent been able to eat or drink much for about 2 days now. Got another doctors appointment today. Called out of work again. Probably wont have a job when I do feel good enough to go in, which I know will not be anytime today but with any luck tomorrow. I took Caleb to daycare this morning so he wouldnt be subjected to me ingnoring him all day or to getting sick. But he's already coughing a lot so it may be too late for him to have gotten this bug from me.
Thinking seriously about stopping my blog. I dont have much to say but about how bad i feel all of the time, as lately all that has consumed my time and energy is sickness.
But ah as I write that an interesting thing happened, the doorbell rang, its not even 8 am yet! More suprising was that it was a police officer looking for me, no just joking. Looking for someone who I guess used to live here. Never heard the name at least that I can remember. I am sure I didnt sound believeable as I pulled the door closed behind me to keep the cold air out of the house and my voice is a mess today so who knows what she thought. Well looky there, something excited happened in my day, wohoo. But now its back to the boring routine of a swig of nyquil and a nice long nap until my doctors appointment.
MMMMM! Cookies! We made these yummy cookies. we didnt put them on popsicle sticks and it was actually very easy and they are so yummy. we highly recommend using snickers bars only, the milky way ones werent nearly as yummy. we even made some w/ snickers crunchers bars and some w/ just regular snickers miniatures.
nothing new from my doctors appt, I didnt see my normal dr and I could tell that the dr I saw was only seeing me cause the office manager made her. She barely examined me, didnt even ask when my last period was. i wasnt there for that but I would have liked to discuss it, but I guess I will wait it out some more. No rush to find out that I am not pregnant, although I sure feel it lately.
Today was better than yesterday despite a lot busier at work. Way too busy. Other than that not much to talk about. Thanks ladies for the comments and for making Dean feel so guilty! :-)
My whole day sucked, from the time I woke up until now and it seems to get worse as it goes. I woke up early since I had an 8 am doctors appointment, when I got out of bed I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. My legs ached as if I'd run a marathon as did my back. But I didnt do much physically this weekend actually nothing that could have caused how I felt then and still do feel. Then I get to the drs office that is supposed to open at 8 am and waited outside in the freezing cold for ten minutes before some one gets there to let me in. 8:20 still no doctor at the office. 8:40 they take my vitals, still no dr at the office. 9:00 I left to go to work highly pissed off and feeling miserable. I cried as I walked to work and took a while to get myself together enough to work.
needless to say I got through the day and managed the confidence to call the drs office manager to complain as I also had an appt this past Friday for 8:15 and had to leave to go to work and the dr still wasnt there at 9 either but I figured it was just because of the weather. They are fitting me in on my lunch break tomorrow with a different doctor.
Few good things about the day, dinner w/ my family and a friend and then going to see Christmas lights on 34th street. Dropped the family off at home so I could hurry and pick up my RXs at the pharmacy which went well for once there wasnt a hassle there. Then I went grocery shopping, took my time since I didnt have to fight w/ Caleb to sit in the cart. Waited about 10 minutes in line to get ready to pay and have our debit card declined twice, that was a huge shocker, we'd used it twice tonight w/ no problem. I left the groceries as I was too tired to deal with it and came home to only send Dean back out after figuring out the problem so he could get our cart full of groceries. meanwhile I did laundry and cleaned up the house a bit.
it's been a long miserable day. I hate to complain, but I am sure writing about it will relieve some of my pent up anger. It doesnt help that I was out of paxil for a few days so I am on the verge of tears (or so that is the reason I am using since my pregnancy test was negative and I cant see the dr til tomorrow) at every little thing.
Another reason I am so upset is because I used to think of myself as a good writer. now everytime I write Dean complains that my blogs make no sense that its all jibberish, that the thoughts dont connect. I mean what do you expect from a women with excess pressure in her brain! I try so hard but the worse it gets the more I find it difficult to even speak sometimes, stumbling through words having to go back and say the same thing and only getting it out after saying it slowly, very slowly. At work I transpose numbers and letters all day, I know it's not a big deal but it sure feels like it when you cant even get a thought out. So I am considering taking a break here, although even if no one else understands this is therapeutic for me. Maybe its just Dean, maybe he's the one who has brain problems!
This morning we went and visited at the church I grew up in. We've done this several times since we've been married, but by far this was the most peaceful and enjoyable visit yet. I was received w/ many hugs and warm thoughts. We even got invited to a party that the youth pastor was having at his house today so we went and hung out with people I hung out when I was a teen and their now spouses and kids. It was good for me. I had a real conversation with someone I've always held dear to my heart but whom I havent talked to in quite a long time. Last time we visited he kept us at arms length and I was hoping for at least small talk today, and for once we talked. Caught up on how things were now and talked about some memories. I needed that. Closure and the reopening of doors to old friends can do a lot for one's morale. I know I had a lot of friends there before, friends I have neglected for my own reasons, friends I miss dearly. There isnt a day when I see something or go somewhere that doesnt remind me of the close friends that are now so distant, maybe not geographically, but relationally. It felt good to get together and realize how fast things change and people grow. I know that I probably wont talk much to these old friends again, but I think I may try a little harder to keep in touch now that we are closer. I am so glad my friend April and I are back on speaking terms and are getting a chance to get to know each other as moms and wives. Today we sat in church together, with Dean and her sister who is younger than us and newly married and pregnant. During the service I turned to her and said who would have thought we'd all be sitting here one day as moms and wives ?? Sometimes its hard to face being an adult, but when you have good friends it makes it a lot easier.
In other news, I am feeling somewhat better. Supposed to start new medicine this weekend, but we got to the pharmacy too late yesterday not knowing they close early on Saturdays and today forgot to go before church and by the time we got home they were closed again. So I'll probably start that tomorrow night. I have a doctors appointment in the morning and will have to get more blood work done then. I hate blood work, but I am sure this wont be the last time I have to do it. I've been feeling naseaus so often and seem to be gaining some weight and since stopping birth control after having been taking it with antibiotics which may have cancelled it out (yet the dr and pharmacist didnt mention it, and I was on an antibiotic for at least a month!) I was concerned that I might be pregnant. Last night I was looking online at the pregnancy calendar and based on my cycles if I was pregnant now the baby would be due same around Caleb's birthday. But this morning I had a negative home pregnancy test. I am not too sure that I am really pregnant since I may just be off from stopping the pill last month and all, but I wouldnt have been upset if I was. I think Dean was a little disappointed too. I didnt even tell him I wasnt until he asked me when we were getting ready to head to church, I didnt want to tell him but he knew I had taken the test this morning. I have been wanting to get pregnant again, but I know until my health gets better its not a good idea, but sure would be glad if I was. I think we both would even though we've agreed to wait to actually start to try again. I just was hoping my symptoms were from that but its probably just my psuedo tumor stuff getting worse. Either way I could still use lots of prayers so I start feeling better soon, and since because of being sick and calling out I may lose my job soon, I am just waiting for them to come fire me, but day after day it doesnt happen. Guess all those prayers that we have been getting for that are getting answered!
Well I am off to snuggle in a warm bed and watch law and order and boomtown. Good night.
We are sitting at home staring out at the beautiful snowy mess! What a great way to spend the day with your family. I'll get up some pics later of Calebs first real snow adventure!